Two nights ago (March 2) I went out  with this girl I was dying to ask out since I got her number,I met her at  a cooking demo,she was one of the audience…Anyway,we went out on a local mall,we had a good talk,ate at an “okay” restaurant (nothing fancy) and had a couple of  laughs then I took her home to her dorm.we were stading outside her dorm room and She Introduced me to her dorm mates which I barely saw through the little window,and they started talking in a different dialect (kapampangan,they were from pampangga) I couldn’t understabd a word they were saying,….anyway, J.F. (the girl I went out with) and I talked a little bit more  before she grabbed my arm and said her dormmates wanted some burgers, so we went out and bought booze and burgers (they said they wanted to drink aswell)…

                        When we came back to her dormroom she asked me to stay out cause she was going to chage her clothes first,the whole time I was Waiting outside their room I was thanking the big G. for that awesome opportunity (I was hoping for some action)…After awhile she asked me to come in,and there they were,sitting in their beds, we started talking  they asked me questions and stuff and they suddenly started speaking kapampangan again (I think they were talking about me ’cause they’d look at me and pause and talked some more)…time passed ,we had some laughs then one of them lied down and said she was going to sleep because she has classes tomorrow,then it triggered a chain reaction, the other two wanted to sleep aswell (so much for my ultimate dormroom fantasy) It was late so I asked them if it’s okay If I sleep in their dorm,one o them turned the lights off and J.F. and I lied on her bed and she told me to go to sleep,I put my arms around her and she shrugged it off … 5 minutes have passed and I still can’t go to sleep,I put my arms around her back and this time she didn’t mind it————–I would just like to say,I was a little drunk and I’m  a dude,so what was I suppose to do———— (I could tell she was awake ‘casue she was still moving a little) I stroked her waist and her back (she was facing down),but she kept pulling it out when my hand came too close with her “bra” ,So I went back to her waist and slowly worked my way down south,she took my hand out when It reached her bumm, she said “quit doing that” and go to sleep…so I did,I said sorry and just went to sleep.

                           The morning after,when we woke up ,I felt she was offended by my actions.. we talked a little then she walked me to her front gate and We said our goodbye, before I left I told her I’ll bake her a cake next time we meet she said “okay” and she had that look,the kind of look that you see in a person when they know they won’t ever see you again…and Off I go…while walking I kept thinking about what I did….I felt pathetic, (she was the type of girl you’ll be proud to have,the type of girl you bring home to mommy)…On my way home I said sorry to her and she just replied

“hmmmm…really?”

And that was the last text message I received from her, I called her on her cell but she kept hanging up,I apologized again and again and told her it was the booze that did that,not me….Until now I still feel shitty about the whole thing,I had my chances to show her I liked her and respect her and stuff but I blew it…shit,I think she was just testing me If I respect her enough to “NOT” try to take advantage of her that night…I failed miserably.thanks to booze.

Note to self: avoid doing “anything” when you’re drunk,just sit in a corner and do nothin.

Ps. I hate myself myself for this.

double Ps. shit I’m only human,I make stupid mistakes! so far this has been the worse thing I’ve done?