Nathan’s notions

I just found out recently form a noontime show that you guys aren’t allowed to drink coffee….why?!

please enlighten my mind with your reasonable resons,I’m dying to know…. =)

the other day, as I was enjoying a refreshing soda in my local neighborhood, I saw a man riding a red motorcycle

snatch a bag from a nice old lady,they were about 50 feet away from me,it all happened so fast that when the motorcycle pass by me at about 30 mph all I did was look when I could’ve clothes line the thief or yell or something,I felt guilty and bad about myself as I  walk back home…

Ater a a goodnight sleep the guilt was gone and I Immediately felt that today (which is yesterday) was going to be a good day…and it was! I got the chance to wear a hamburglar costume (I work part time at McDonald’s)

I was sweating all over the whole time I was under the costume, the feeling of embarassment went away when the kids started hugging me…there was like a moment of transition from me——to Hamburglar,and just like that,I was in character,I was doing the robot and dancing my ass off,haha! the kids seems to like it,they were all ecstatic and happy and stuff…I know,wearing a costume is not exactly what the “cool” kids are doing but it’s my first time to wear a costume,so shuddup!…

anyway on my way home I decided to get a haircut….while I wait for the customer who got there before me, I busy myself by reading my notes about culinary stuff,and I noticed the lady beside me,who’s also reading a book, glancing at my notes, so I asked her waht she was reading…

Lady: “oh,this is just a romantic Novel,what are you reading”

Me: “Different methods of cooking,I’m studying culinary arts”

Lady: “Well I’m not discriminating this (placing her hands on my notes),but you just wan’t to be a cook?”

and I forgot the exact words that was spoken that night but it went on for about 3 minutes,she’s encouraging me to take business management after I graduate culinary arts ’cause she has a brother who happens to be the head manager in Hilton Hotel in Shanghai, she said he graduated culinary arts and business management…well I’m not really fond of taking advices from people I don’t know,but she looks old and full of wisdom and  seems to know what she’s talking about…

when I asked her name and thank her for the advice she gave me (which I think I will reconsider after giving enough thought) she shook my hand and told me her name was “Lady Beia” (I’m not sure how it’s spelt,but it’s pronounced as Bey)…I wasn’t sure if she’s a full blooded Filipina,’cause she speaks perfect english so I talked to her grandson (the customer who got there before me) he said she’s Filipino American and that she’s a muslim,and her name actually begins with lady….when they were about to leave I wanted to say something cool like “you take care now (followed by a perfect smile)” but I ended up sounding stupid…I told them…

” He’s a nice lady..I mean she (followed by a smile)”

and that was the words I left them with….

I Yelled “I love Satan!” at a bunch of mormons earlier…it felt good…don’t get me wrong I most certainly do not love the devil,I just love the feeling of making sudden choices that can either result to a beat-up or a rush that’ll make you feel alive and happy for just that moment…I think everyone should do something impulsive once in awhile… like Homer Simpson once said “stupid risks makes life worth living“…

“your eyes can decieve you,don’t trust them”

-some guy…oh and Yoda…or Obi-wan kenobi?

Like any other 18 year old kid who has nothing better to do with his time than to browse the web,I came accross a photo  on Tickle.com,among all the profiles and pictures I saw,this woman caught my attention…

at firts I thought “dude,this chick is hot”

but as I went through her photos I started to doubt that this chick is a woman…

(look at the picture closely,just concentrate on his face and imagine he has no hair)  

and When I saw this picture I was like “okay,this chick’s a dude…Damn you EYES!!!”

I’m pretty sure he’s a dude….or is he?

Oh God,this happens to me alot,like when I see a lady person looking at me I always double check before smiling back…

This post falls in the category of optical illusion,or more like gender manipulation ( wait…that is not the right word)…anyway,here’s a video I found on youtube that’ll probably make you say….(awesome)…enjoy

 Click me!

A couple of weeks ago, my brother and I were watching goodluck chuck on (pirated) DvD, my mother walked in about 47 mins. after the movie started but still decided to watch the movie with us,I was worried at first ’cause I know there were going to be sex scenes in the movie and I really wouldn’t like my mother to be in the same room w/ me when they show the scene…a few minutes passed,I glanced at my mother and noticed that she’s dozing off,and soon she surrendered herself to sweet sleep…and when the sex scene finally came up, my mother– who I thought was completely asleep – exclaimed

“ano yan?”

(what’s that?)

my brother quickly hit the fastforward button and said “Goodluck chuck”,( the fastforward button didn’t help as much as I expected ), (chuck) Dane cook was humping the brains out of a woman like a guy on speed, the pictures on screen didn’t skip, It just wen’t…fast,knowing that my mother is sitting 3 meters away from me the whole 13 seconds was silent,torturous,very very awkward and disturbingly uncomfortable,I was like “oh God please make it stop”…*sigh* it scared me for life…Thanks Mom :) 

“You focking Cockaroach!”

-Tony Montana (a.k.a Scarface)

As I was lying in bed,reading a book,minding my own business,a disease carying bastard flew over my chest and landed on the floor,Naturally I flailed my arms around and came rushing through the door,I quickly reached for a broom and scanned the room for the vermin…When I finally saw it,I beat the hell out of him with the weapon in hand, he got  stunned so I took dustpan and gave it to my pet,Pepito…

  (yes I have a monkey,but he’s not trained so he bites and claws people,tsk tsk tsk)

watching the coackroach squirm in a monkey’s hand is not the most prettiest thing to see,at first I thought he was going to eat it,but after he inspected the poor little creature he threw it away with disgust…

anyway,a few hours later, without warning another cockroah of the same size flew past my left shoulder and onto the computer screen,I came rushing to the door screaming “oh my god! help me!” , I then realized that the window was open, which is probably where the  pests entered, I grabbed a perfume bottle I found on my sister’s room,and slowly entered on my coackroach infested room ,I sprayed a tasteful amount on the cockroach who’s like…waiting and sitting in the corner of my computer table,and after wringling and stuggling in pain, he flew out of the room,I then quickly closed the door and went back in the computer,I didn’t bother closing the window ’cause what are the chances that another insect will enter the room…(sigh) I wish coackroches and humans can co-exist in peace…

last week as I was shuffling through endless channels of cable tv,I stumbled upon a local news show, It stated that a man —about 45 yrs. old, a crummy senile, apathetic man,w/ a Charlie Manson vibe— got arrested for violation of human Rights,he forces his maid/help—a 20 year old girl from the province,hoping to better her life by working in the big city— to undergo sexual intercourse with his pet dog,if that wasn’t enough, his wife—about 38 yrs. old, a pathetic looking middle age woman—beats the shit out of maid whenever she screws up some of the houseworks,she didn’t attempt to leave her masters ’cause she has nowhere else to go and didn’t have enough money to go back home which is really, really depressing…thankfully a co-worker of the victim, sneeked out and told the authorities about the activites goin on inside the house,the suspects got arrested and is now doing time in prison…

and recently, I heared from the same local news show that a man stuck a spray can up his butt,and while the spray can was being surgically removed,doctors and Nurses from the hospital was taking pictures and laughing at the misfortune of the gay man, and someone thought that it’ll be funny if he uploaded it on youtube,so he did…but the man pressed charges against the doctors and nurses present on the operating room for disrespecting his privacy,and shortly after,the video was deleted on youtube before I even get the chance to watch it..DAMN YOU CENSORSHIP PEOPLE!!!

this however, “click me” is as close as we can get in watching the whole video… *fast forward to 0:58*

Recently I asked myself that If I would be stranded on  a deserted Island and can only choose 1 peson to be with on that god forsaken place,who would I choose…naturally I thought about a girl I like,but a “what if” question came to me…

“what if I had no choice but to spend the remains of my days with a dude? will I turn gay?”

sadly there is a possibility, take my 2 dogs for example:
 

these dogs used to be straight,the brown one, a German shepherd,used to have a lot of bitches in my old neighborhood,we would sometimes take off his leash and allow him to roam free and copulate with our neighbor’s dog,the white one, a japanese spitz  is more  of the conservative kind,he doesn’t run around spreading his seed,he spends  most of his time sleeping and gorging himself on dog food…when we moved 6 years ago,all they had was each other,’cause there weren’t that many dogs around,and as the years pass I noticed that they started pleasuring each other by licking each other’s genitals (see: picture)  while doing a thrusting motion,licking each other’s face and tounge kissing,it was pretty funny at first but after I realized what they were doing I was like “tsk tsk tsk,now that’s just sad”.

I’m not sure about us humans but some dogs,according to my observation, do resort to homosexuality when deprived of sexual lovin from the opposite sex…I’ll just try not to think about the whole deserted Island Dilemma…

(no offense to gay readers)

I just heard  from the news last tonight  that a man in karaoke bar yet again died after singing Frank Sinatra’s song ‘”My way”…

over the past 3 years I’ve been hearing the same news,that people who coincidentaly were singing that song are being stabbed to death or shot at by a Random drunk due to a loss of temper or some reasons unknown…

I’m starting to think that Sinatra is Responsible for this,that he’s collecting the souls of the people who died singing his song and oneday rise up from the dead with his army of souls and wreak havock on the face of the earth…

“And now, the end is near;
 And so I face the final curtain.
 My friend, Ill say it clear,
 I’ll state my case, of which Im certain.

 Ive lived a life thats full.
 Ive traveled each and evry highway;
 And more, much more than this,
 I did it my way.”

Last night at dinner,I found a piece of rotting Banana lying on the fridge and it looks as though it was suffering:

  *this once was a happy yellow Banana,but now it’s just a decaying bar of blackness*

I ended his misery by putting him to rest among his bio-degradable buddies…this entry will serve as a memorial to not just bananas but all the fruits that were forgetten and left to rot…

hehe.